Female Pleasure: Why You Should Be Masturbating

Why is it that there is so much shame surrounding the subject of female self-pleasure?  From a very young age, boys draw pictures of penises on every surface imaginable.  Thanks to their advanced artistic skill, we all knew (kind of) what a penis looked like.  Not once, however, did a girl take the time to illustrate their vagina on the inside of a bathroom stall.  Personally, I didn’t even know enough to be able to draw an accurate vagina until I was in my teens, despite being an owner of one.  

It isn’t hard to believe that boys begin the process of physical self-discovery and self-pleasure years before girls even know what masturbation is.  This is partly because the biology of people who have penises is out there, on the exterior, leaving little to no mystery of its presence and function.  But this earlier process of self-discovery is in large part due to the greater acceptance of the penis versus the vagina.  

Fast forward a few years and the subject of female self-pleasure is still taboo.  While all my guy friends talk about masturbation with both sexes, the most I’ve seen girls talk about masturbation in a public setting is in health class.  Last year, when I gave a presentation on masturbation and female pleasure in, I had to point out the clitoris and explain its purpose, as well as explain the mechanics of female masturbation.  Only fifty percent out of the class had masturbated in their lives— this number would creep towards one hundred percent in classes of our male counterparts.  

It’s no wonder that masturbation is considered shameful when most parts of female sexuality are judged just as harshly.  Women are stuck between two extreme judgements.  If they have a lot of sex partners, women are sluts.  If they are more reserved sexually, they are referred to as prudes.  In order to survive in such an environment, women teeter between promiscuity and purity, taking care to adjust the way in which they present themselves.  You have to be sexy, but not sexual; pure but not a prude.  In short, women can’t win.  Contrastingly, men are “studs” if they have multiple sex partners, and their purity is rarely in question as an evaluation of their character.  

According to research from Penn State, women talk about sex more than men do… except when it comes to masturbation.  Obviously, if you’re uncomfortable talking about your self-pleasure: no pressure! But occasionally talking to your girlfriends about it can be fun, healthy, and help you figure out new ways to experience self-pleasure even better.  If you’re confused about why masturbation is so awesome and wonderful, here are a few reasons to do it:

Fun fact: only 25% of women are consistent in achieving orgasm during sex, while 98% of men report they reach orgasm every. single. time.  Getting to know your own body before having sex is a really good idea.  How can you expect somebody else to figure out your pleasure when you haven’t done so already?  Knowing what you like and what feels good is key.  Masturbation can help you make sex better and more comfortable if you already know what you like.

If you’re not ready to have sex yet, self-pleasure is still a wonderful way in which to get comfortable in your own skin.  If you need to destress, orgasm is a great way to do that.  Masturbation is a  normal, enjoyable and healthy experience.  It can help you fall asleep and relax, both emotionally and physically.  Orgasm releases all sorts of great endorphins like dopamine and oxytocin, which can improve your mood and create a natural high.  Plus, it can relieve period cramps! Need I say more, ladies?

Masturbation should neither be shameful nor taboo for women to talk about or do.  Take back the stats and know that you should never be ashamed for taking your pleasure into your own hands (literally).

text and visual: alex farina   
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